How to's... part three - How to make him feel important!

We are sure it comes as no surprise to you that men love to feel important, useful, and that their opinion is valuable. (Who doesn't, really?)

That's why one of the easiest ways to make yourself approachable to a man is to ask for help.

For example, try one of these ice breakers on the next guy that catches your eye:

"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Smith Street?"

"My friends and I are looking for a good happy hour around this neighborhood. Can you recommend a place?"

"What are you drinking? That looks good...Should I order one?"

"Do you have a pen I can borrow?" (This can really get the ball rolling if he wants to ask for your number!)

Of course you should be sincere and genuinely have a need for his help, or it could come off like one of the dreaded cheesy lines we talked about in our last post!

Try it you never know!

How to's... part two - How to spark up spontaneous conversation

Sometimes, a man might be too shy, too preoccupied, or too oblivious to his surroundings to initiate a conversation with you. That doesn't mean that you have to let the opportunity pass you by!!

Retrack Introductions is a big fan of stressing the importance of letting the man make the first move, but by that I mean asking for your number or setting up a date.

Just saying a friendly "hello" to someone does NOT constitute making the first move in my book (as long as it's confident and without an air of desperate expectation, that is!).

Let's say you you were at Starbucks and you were standing in the pickup area when the barista called out "MOCHA-CHOCA-LATTE for Erica!"

You knew that your dream man had also ordered a Mocha-Choca Latte. This was the perfect opportunity to acknowledge your shared love of the same beverage as a possible way to break the ice and spark up a conversation.

What if, instead of dashing out the door, you grabbed your drink, tipped it toward your dream man in as if you were toasting "cheers!" and said a funny, innocuous little thing like, "Breakfast of Champions!"

Maybe he would have simply smiled. But maybe - just maybe - he would have said, "You're telling ME. I can't even function until I've had two of those..." Bonding over your caffeine habit might lead to introducing yourselves by name, even exchanging business cards or making a date.

You never know...just by being the one to go out on a limb and initiate conversation, you could be opening the door to a special connection with a new man!

Stay tuned for our next how to...

How to's... part one - how to get his attention without of prop!

Retrack knows when a man wants to meet you, he'll look for any reason under the sun to strike up a conversation.

By now, most guys have gotten the memo that women hate cheesy pick up lines ("Can I borrow a 10p? My mum told me to call her when Ifell in love..." BLECH!!!) and they're left wondering how to break the ice.

Let's help them out!

Any kind of prop - your dog, a t-shirt with a funny slogan on it, your tennis racket slung over your shoulder, a sweatshirt with your alma mater's logo, a funky piece of jewellery, a book with an intriguing title on the cover - these are all things that a man might feel compelled to make a comment on or approach you about.

Perfect example: My friend Amy has the most fabulous pants.

She calls them her "chicken wire pants." She found them at a vintage store - they're bright orange and they have the pattern of - you guessed it - chicken wire stamped all over them. (Trust me, words don't do them justice.)

One day she was strolling down the street when she heard a man's voice say, "Excuse me..."

When she turned around, Amy was surprised to see a handsome guystanding there. "I'm sorry to bother you but I just HAD to tell you how great those pants are!!!"

Amy, of course, was flattered and they struck up a conversation.

The hot guy asked for her number and took her out to dinner!

(She changed her pants for the occasion.)

Now, the chicken wire pants aren't for everyone (Amy is a brave girl who can pull ANYTHING off with her spunky attitude and radiant smile), but you get the picture. If you can give a man just a little something more than "Uh....hello" that he can grasp onto and make small talk with, you've instantly become more approachable.

For another approach... stay tuned for next weeks post!

A poem from Maureen Holland...

We had a beautiful poem sent to us by one of our Retrack Introduction clients,  aged 70 years old.  We simply had to share it...

Saftey on a date...

 

Retrack Introductions always have your best interests in mind, so we have come up with some top tips to keep you safe on a date!

• Arrange to meet for coffee or lunch rather than dinner.
  
  Not only are you safer in the day but you don't waste time if it doesn't work. Help prevent any unwanted chasing (which might turn into stalking) by being polite but not leading them on. If you don't fancy them, just say '"You're a lovely person, but unfortunately, not what I was looking for."
  
• Stick to an area that's well lit with lots of people around.
  
  It's a good idea to meet in a place where you're known so the person you're with can be identified. Chat away to the waiter/waitress so it's obvious you've been seen with them.
   
• Don't invite strangers to your home and don't go to theirs until you know them very well.
  
• Trust your gut instinct and listen carefully to their relationship history. Are they using the service for the right reasons or are they just after sex?
  
  
• Give the details of your date to several friends - where you'll be, the time you'll meet, the person's name, phone number and address. Get them to phone you an hour into the date to check you're OK; you phone them a few hours later to report in again.

Ten Quick Dating Tips!

 

If you like someone you it is only natural that you may want to ask them on a date.

For men this is standard practise and for women, this process is becoming increasingly common. If you are thinking of asking someone on a date consider the following quick Retrack dating tips:

1. Why are you asking them out, is it for the right reasons and what do you expect as a result of them saying yes or no?

2. Be prepared that the person you ask may say no and in which case do not take the rejection personally.

3. When asking someone out choose your moment carefully and practise what you might say in advance so that you don't appear tongue-tied.

4. If the person you ask says yes, ensure you already have thought of a place, date and time for the date so that you display signs of thoughfulness.

5. Be prepared for the person asking why you want to date them so that you are able to flatter and create a sense of trust immediately. People can be wary and they may want to know some reasosn behind your request. Better, anticipate this by saying "would you like to come to dinner, I have always thought you are great fun..".

6. Make sure that your request for a date does not pressurize the person in any way. If they want to think about it, let them. But don't chase.

7. Make sure that when you ask someone on a date you smile and keep things fun and happy. Being confident and smiley will elicit a far more positive response.

8. If you ask someone on a date, make sure that you actually intend to go through with it. Standing people up is not allowed.

9. Try to avoid dutch-courage such as using alcohol to boost your courage levels as this will often backfire.

10. Don't ask someone out when they are in a group of friends. Timing is everything.

Good luck!

Retrack Introductions Wine Tasting Singles Event was fabulous!

Some of you may have heard about the Wine Tasting Singles event we hosted at The Hide Bar in Bury St Edmunds on Wednesday evening.

I am please to report it was a huge success. Around 30 people attended and joined in with the Wine Tasting, which was lead by a Mayfair Wine Merchant. So we all certainly learnt a lot!

We had two glasses in each hand and compared the different tasting wines. It was very enjoyable and for those who didnt wish to drink all of the samples, there was a bucket to dispose your wine into! 

The wine was accompanied by some light nibbles and some love themed goody bags. 

The event was organised by a range of people including The Best of Bury, Apparition Marketing & Design, Suffolk hampers and of course the Hide Bar.

Thank you to all who attended and those involved in making it happen!