Self dating tips!

• Always trust your instinct -- after all, it's gotten you this far in life already
• Take your time and look at lots of different profiles to get a feel for what kind of person you want
• Never publish your phone number or email address
• Don't take anything at face value -- it's easy to lie online, and many people do
• Ask lots of questions when chatting with your potential mates
• Make sure you feel comfortable with whoever you are chatting with, at all times
• If someone is abusive or rude, block them immediately
• Don't give your home or work address to anyone you have not met in person
• Before agreeing to a date, make sure you know as much about the other person as possible
• Don't allow yourself to be talked into anything -- you're the one in charge
• Take your time to get to know someone -- don't be rushed
• A patient person will be happy to wait until you are ready to meet
• Make sure anyone you're talking to is willing to provide photos and information about himself or herself
• Ask your date to leave a message on your voicemail beforehand, if possible
• Chat on the phone for a while before arranging a date
• Always meet in a well-lit public place
• Always tell a good friend where you are going and who you're meeting
• If possible, step away and call a friend during the date to confirm that everything is ok
• Always carry a cell phone on a date
• Schedule lunch dates -- they're convenient and they have a time limit
• Always make your own travel arrangements to/from a first date
• Do not accept a ride home on the first date or reveal your address
• If you're traveling far, always make and confirm your own hotel arrangements
• Make sure you have as much information about your date as possible
• Keep your first date to a specified time limit so you always have an "exit" point
• Never feel like you owe it to someone to meet them - you don't!

Essential tips for dating...

Bathe

To make that first impression you want to look clean right? So no to looking dirty and smelling bad.

Remember, bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off, people will assume that this is how you are all the time.

Arrive on Time 

One of the worst things you can do is turn up late. It gives the wrong impressions- you also don't want the other person to think they have been stood up!

Be a Gentleman / Lady

Simple manners such as for gents...  hold the door open for her. Let her walk through the door first. Pull out her chair. Be polite to her and the people around you.

Compliments

The first thing to say to her is "you look beautiful/ nice" before anything. Keep the compliments flowing throughout your date, such as "your hair looks nice, I like the color of it, and your outfit is great." But don't go overboard.

Listen and Ask Questions


Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves or being ignored.


Prepare 

The last thing you want is to be sitting having a meal and the conversation dries up, leaving you bored with each other for the rest of the night. Try and think of any questions that she might ask you, so that you can prepare the answer.

Who Will Pay? 

This is a really tough question since women are increasingly independent and may want to pay their way. I suggest that you offer to pay and, if she lets you, take care of the bill. If she wants to pay, you can argue that you want to, but make sure you pay for at least half no matter what.

The Goodnight Kiss 

Some women prefer not to kiss after a date while others are disappointed if the guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this. So watch out for body language and little touches.

I'll Call You

Only tell them that you will call themif you mean it and intend on seeing her again.

Things that kill a loving relationship

Not Listening

Communication is the crux of all relationships, and if the communication is not strong then your relationship will not be. Not only is talking about your feelings important, but listening is also vital.

Excess Baggage

Everyone has baggage; however, the key is dealing with that baggage and not allowing it to influence your relationship.

Everyone goes through obstacles throughout their day that cause stress. However, by no means should you tell your mate every time you are upset. 

Commitment Problems

With time, a certain comfort level is reached in a relationship. When this happens, a relationship becomes serious, or in other words, committed. For some, the word "committed" entails labels and obligations.

In order to be in a committed relationship, you must be mature and realise that it will take hard work and dedication to maintain. 

Family Matters 

The family – you have to love them even though most times it would be easier to throw pixie dust on them and wish they would vanish off to Never land. However, the reality is that you must make sure you are on your best behavior in front of them if you want a serious long-lasting relationship with your mate. 


Being a Workaholic 

In this day and age, the height of success is a long and rough road to travel. In your voyage to riches, you may unintentionally neglect your special someone. 

Your mate can only be so supportive. Remember a long-lasting relationship is as fulfilling as a successful career. As a career entails obstacles and levels to reach the top, so do relationships. 

YOU DON’T NEED THEM

If your mate still ends up breaking up with you even after all of this, do not waste your time being upset; rather, be relieved with the reassurance that you can do much better.

Courting!

The "Courting Phase" does not refer to the courtship process which precedes a relationship. 

The courtship process is when you attempt to charm someone into forming a relationship with you. The courting phase, however, is the very beginning of a new relationship itself; just after a successful courtship.

In the courting phase, both parties maintain that fascinating charm which they used to attract their partner in the first place. The courting phase is where most broken promises & exaggerate words are said as you are still trying to impress each other. 

Things like 'I've never felt this way about anyone else before' or 'I think we have something special between us' are said. Although these statements are made with good intentions, they are often inaccurate and are based mainly on feeling as oppose to logic.

A couple in the courting phase also tend to be very "playful" with one another and prefer to spend every free moment together.

Although not every relationship passes through this courting phase, it happens often enough. Just make sure you are beyond this point before you start taking any serious steps in the relationship.

How Much Do Looks Matter?

 

Some of you may have heard of the new dating series called Dating in the Dark (a show with 6 episodes in its first season.)

This leads us to thoughts about attraction, chemistry, and how much looks really matter to singles and dating couples?

In the show, a three men and three women date each other, in the dark. They all meet in a group setting initially in total darkness, then the singles each choose who they'd like to go on a private dark date with.

Then another date takes place where the singles get matched by compatibility, and the last date is singles' choice.

In the meantime the singles get to see an aspect of the opposite sex that is normally quite private, such as their luggage or a tour of their home, and they also are asked to draw what they think their favorite match looks like using a professional sketch artist.

At the end of the show, the singles choose one person they want to 'see' are shown each other, and then they decide if they'd like to date some more or go their separate ways.

Men who were adamant they'd never date a woman who was 'thicker around the middle' didn't care when they found a connection, women walked off the set because their date was an inch too short even though the mutual atraction was obvious, and people who made out with each other extensively in the dark and pegged their date to a tee in the sketch artist portion of the show suddenly questioned their interest when they saw their mystery date for the first time.

How important are looks to you, and would you not date someone based solely on how they present? Have you been able to change how people perceive you socially in order to attract someone? How did you do it?

Retrack Introductions wants to hear from you! 

Five myths about love...

Retrack Introductions presents five ways love is misunderstood... and the truth about how to love someone!

Fact... Love is as critical to our bodies as water.
Research shows that we need love emotionally and physically in order to stay healthy.

“Love is not sentimentality or something created by our culture,” says Sue Johnson, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight. “It is an emotional bond and we are hardwired to find mates and create that bond.” Only in the past 15 years have scientists really started to understand what love is all about, she adds. So it’s little wonder some of our notions about love are mistaken, especially given all the fairytale endings perpetuated by pop culture. Here are five myths about love busted (and then mended).

1. “If love is meant to happen, it’ll happen.”

Almost nothing good in life happens by chance, yet many of us leave “finding” a life partner up to fate.

The truth: Love is learned.

“Where else in life would you ever take that approach? Would you think, ‘Oh well, if learning French is meant to happen, it will just happen?” asks Diana Kirschner, a psychologist in New York City and author of Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. Love is an important activity that takes attention and intention, she adds. “Sure chemistry between two people ‘happens.’ But lasting love has to be worked on, nurtured and allowed to grow. And of course, you learn by making mistakes.”

2. “We just fell out of love.”
More often than not, couples drift apart when they don’t know how to share their emotional needs. Alienation and distrust follow. Johnson says that we put up a wall to protect ourselves, ironically reinforcing what we fear most: that our partner of choice isn’t there for us or that we are simply unlovable.

The truth: You choose love.

Love is not passive; it is an active event, according to Johnson. “You need to stay involved, and be open and engaged.” Securely attached people get angry, fight and hurt one another. But unlike people with an insecure emotional bond, they are able to turn around and talk about their feelings right away. In other words, precisely when you feel the most vulnerable and scared, you have to actively decide to take a risk and reach out to your partner, and in return try to give him reassurance, she says. It’s the only way to secure the bond.

3. “Men and women love differently.”
Gender stereotypes lead us to believe that, when it comes to emotions, men and women are polar opposites: real men don’t cry; women are never satisfied, etc.

The truth: The need to be loved is universally shared.

Women who believe all men really only want sex are underestimating their partner’s emotional depth. Johnson explains that our culture does not teach men how to ask for emotional connection and reassurance, whereas they are taught how to ask for sex (and so they do, often when they are feeling emotionally insecure). “Men think if they ask for reassurance women will despise them. But if you give them a chance you will discover they just want to be desired, too. When it boils down to deeper emotions, we have a lot in common.”

4.“If the sex fades, so does the love.”
Johnson says that so much emphasis in adult love is placed on sex. “We think love is sex.”

The truth: Love is about way more than the sex.

It is possible to have a long-term relationship that is still wildly passionate, but it is rare, says Johnson. You have to work at sex because it is novelty that nourishes the infatuation and obsession that underscore new relationships. Those feelings are not love. Once they fade, if a deeper emotional connection is there, even better sex is possible, according to Johnson. She says research shows people who have sex the most — and enjoy it the most are long-term married couples.

5. “Real love isn’t about dependency.”


We feel ashamed of our deeper attachments and emotional insecurities because in North American culture, we are taught that needing someone (especially true for men) is a sign of weakness.

The truth: A secure loving bond enables independence.

“Love is truly a source of emotional and physical resilience,” says Johnson. “We are mammals. Our bodies were designed to curl up around each other. We need to know we can call out to someone and they will come, as children, and that doesn’t go away when we are adults. It’s physiological.”

So with our Retrack myths busted, hopefully it will raise more understanding to those dreaded myths!

For information on our dating services visit Retrack Introductions Dating Services.

Finding 'the one'...

There’s a love pandemic happening in our world today and it is that we are spending time with each other without fully understanding why we are getting together.

Too many people are wasting time and energy in relationships without knowing why they are there.

A relationship is not an antidote to loneliness, nor is it something to be experienced with anything less than full commitment. In order for a romantic bond to build and deepen with anyone I have to be able to answer the following questions:


1. What am I offering in a relationship? What do I offer that I think is good, (care, support), and what do I bring into a relationship which often causes problems (jealousy, insecurity)?

2. Am I ready to be in a relationship? In other words, am I willing to give the relationship my full commitment?

3. Do I like, trust and respect this person and do they like, trust and respect me?

The responsibility for creating a deep, loving bond lies with you, and with your partner.

You both must be up for the challenges and rewards of intimacy, and what will make you both soulmates is your willingness to give yourself fully to the other.

Dating tips for single mothers...

Have you ever thought to yourself... 'how am I going to find the time to date as well as look after my kids?' well help is at hand!

We can't promise miracles but a few simple Retrack tips can help you on your way!

Here's some practical advice you can use to save time and ensure you get with the right man all whilst giving the love you need to your kids.

Dating when you've got very little time to spare...

Contact us via using our online dating service. It's quick, it doesn't require you to leave the house in the early stages.

How can you give the amount of time to a guy that wants to date you?

The most important thing is to be upfront and honest early on... set your boundaries with your partner.


Most guys who want to date you but don't have kids will not fully realise how much time children take up. So let your partner know up front that your kids are a priority in your life, that it's not so easy to drop them and go to him. 

At the same time keep reassuring your partner you don't care for him any less.

Why don't some men want to get with women with kids?

Frankly, who cares? Just forget them and move on. There's no point trying to change someone who is scared off by you having kids. There are plenty of men out there who will happily date you as long as you are the type of woman they're looking for.

How do you know if he'll be good with your kids?

You don't really! The upside is that many guys who truly aren't comfortable with children will have left long before they get to meet yours. The bad news is that you cannot really judge whether your partner will treat your kids in a way that you'll be happy with until he actually meets them and spends time with them.

Help on finding your Mr. Right

Be sure about who you are looking for. This isn't specific to single parents, but it is a vital part to finding the right partner for you or any other single person.

Our top 10 ten dating tips!

1. Get prepared for dating.
   
   If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.
   
   
2. Get your act together.
   
   Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.
   
   
3. Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look.
   
   Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.
   
   
4. Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect.
   
   Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.
   
   
5. Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims.
   
   By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.
   
   
6. Choose those you have a good chance of dating.
   
   Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.
   
   
7. Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners.
   
   You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.
   
   
8. Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue.
   
   Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.
   
   
9. Enjoy dating for what it is, dating.
   
   It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.
   
   
10. Never make yourself too available.
    
    People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.