How to's... part four - How to be concious of body language

Retrack Introductions  read a surprising statistic the other day: only 7% of communication is verbal (that means 93% is nonverbal body language).

In other words, your actions (very literally) speak louder than your words.

If a man spots you across the room but you have your arms folded across your chest, that sends the subconscious signal "Stay away. I'm closed off."

Conversely, if your posture is good and your shoulders are back, opening up your frame, it sends the message that your heart is open to possibilities (even if he's not consciously aware of it).

When you're engaged in conversation, leaning in toward him conveys interest (that's when being in a loud, crowded bar can work to your advantage! It gives you a legitimate reason to lean in and speak in one another's ear, which creates a connection).

If you're seated, crossing your legs and pointing them toward him also sends the unspoken message that you're interested. Very literally, it is the act of aligning your body with his that signals, "we're in line with one another."

So don't forget to look out for the signs!

How to's... part three - How to make him feel important!

We are sure it comes as no surprise to you that men love to feel important, useful, and that their opinion is valuable. (Who doesn't, really?)

That's why one of the easiest ways to make yourself approachable to a man is to ask for help.

For example, try one of these ice breakers on the next guy that catches your eye:

"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Smith Street?"

"My friends and I are looking for a good happy hour around this neighborhood. Can you recommend a place?"

"What are you drinking? That looks good...Should I order one?"

"Do you have a pen I can borrow?" (This can really get the ball rolling if he wants to ask for your number!)

Of course you should be sincere and genuinely have a need for his help, or it could come off like one of the dreaded cheesy lines we talked about in our last post!

Try it you never know!

How to's... part two - How to spark up spontaneous conversation

Sometimes, a man might be too shy, too preoccupied, or too oblivious to his surroundings to initiate a conversation with you. That doesn't mean that you have to let the opportunity pass you by!!

Retrack Introductions is a big fan of stressing the importance of letting the man make the first move, but by that I mean asking for your number or setting up a date.

Just saying a friendly "hello" to someone does NOT constitute making the first move in my book (as long as it's confident and without an air of desperate expectation, that is!).

Let's say you you were at Starbucks and you were standing in the pickup area when the barista called out "MOCHA-CHOCA-LATTE for Erica!"

You knew that your dream man had also ordered a Mocha-Choca Latte. This was the perfect opportunity to acknowledge your shared love of the same beverage as a possible way to break the ice and spark up a conversation.

What if, instead of dashing out the door, you grabbed your drink, tipped it toward your dream man in as if you were toasting "cheers!" and said a funny, innocuous little thing like, "Breakfast of Champions!"

Maybe he would have simply smiled. But maybe - just maybe - he would have said, "You're telling ME. I can't even function until I've had two of those..." Bonding over your caffeine habit might lead to introducing yourselves by name, even exchanging business cards or making a date.

You never know...just by being the one to go out on a limb and initiate conversation, you could be opening the door to a special connection with a new man!

Stay tuned for our next how to...

How to's... part one - how to get his attention without of prop!

Retrack knows when a man wants to meet you, he'll look for any reason under the sun to strike up a conversation.

By now, most guys have gotten the memo that women hate cheesy pick up lines ("Can I borrow a 10p? My mum told me to call her when Ifell in love..." BLECH!!!) and they're left wondering how to break the ice.

Let's help them out!

Any kind of prop - your dog, a t-shirt with a funny slogan on it, your tennis racket slung over your shoulder, a sweatshirt with your alma mater's logo, a funky piece of jewellery, a book with an intriguing title on the cover - these are all things that a man might feel compelled to make a comment on or approach you about.

Perfect example: My friend Amy has the most fabulous pants.

She calls them her "chicken wire pants." She found them at a vintage store - they're bright orange and they have the pattern of - you guessed it - chicken wire stamped all over them. (Trust me, words don't do them justice.)

One day she was strolling down the street when she heard a man's voice say, "Excuse me..."

When she turned around, Amy was surprised to see a handsome guystanding there. "I'm sorry to bother you but I just HAD to tell you how great those pants are!!!"

Amy, of course, was flattered and they struck up a conversation.

The hot guy asked for her number and took her out to dinner!

(She changed her pants for the occasion.)

Now, the chicken wire pants aren't for everyone (Amy is a brave girl who can pull ANYTHING off with her spunky attitude and radiant smile), but you get the picture. If you can give a man just a little something more than "Uh....hello" that he can grasp onto and make small talk with, you've instantly become more approachable.

For another approach... stay tuned for next weeks post!